It's done

 I canceled my plane ticket to the UK, which means I canceled my trip to Portugal. Well, because of COVID it was already canceled, but I decided if I wanted to reschedule or if I wanted to keep it there so I could in the future, until december 31st, schedule a new trip.

Now it's a matter of wait and see. I am finally coming to terms that for a while, maybe 4 to 6 months, I'm still gonna be here. The latest date might be the correct one. 

I try not to think about all the things I'm gonna miss with her, like valentine's day, my birthday (27 years old, damn). But sometimes, before I fall into slumber, that's all I can think about. 

After therapy I guess it got into my thick skull that I do have to make a movement. Think about what am I gonna do now that I do have to stay more time?

The tickets are bought.

The money is saved. 

Now is just a matter of moving out of this COVID hospital life and finding a new job. Adapting to a new place and a new neighborhood. 

I was already embracing a change like that. But I thought it was gonna be home. Turns out not yet. 

So... I have to be patient, and keep on doing whatever I can. Stop rushing and having time for myself. Making sure I have money to save and to pay the bills. I'll be fine, I'll go eventually, I just have to be patient.