Scratch that.

Okey, dokey.

Sorry about that sad entry. Just had to get it out. BUT continuing, this is going to be an on and off post about my trip to Portugal. On which I'll be fumbling through my past. The one I burried almost three years ago.

ANYWAYS.

I am currently at the airpot, still in Brazil, but yet I am so excited for this shit. Okay I lived there for 4 years and everything, but this time, I decied to enjoy more, take more pictures, see more places, describe more things to my friends... Because when I lived there I just LIVED there, at my house, nowhere else. I can describe to you really well my house, but the places I'd been? The little things I say I always appretiate, I don't remember it much. This time though, I'll grab around more memories, OR at least I hope to.


Here's one memory I already gathered :D

First time on starbucks. Caramel Machiato

Know I'm not a girl anymore, I'm a young woman, a college student. And I'm living my life, alone or with company. Goodbye. See you next time.

Adventures of a wisful thinker on PT

Oh man, I feel so weird right now. Kind of fuzzy. I mean up until this point, right before getting on the bus, it all seemed like a dream. That I was always about to wake up from. But then me and my aunt got separeted, and reality hit me hard. Can't believe I'm saying it but it did hit me like a... ok, like "a wrecking ball".

Up until now, I have just put those thoughts on the bottom of my heart, or the back of my head. I guess I should say head because they've always been there sacthering and scaveging around my heart.

 I was just too soundly asleep to let any of them seep in or even show.

It's weird you know? Expecting something for about ever since I left, and then finally when I get it, it is all wrong.

I was expecting to go back home and everything was just the way it was supposed to be. But then, my mom says goodbye, I think I'll see her again and now... NO MORE. Nothing. There's nothing there waiting for me, just a bunch of broken down memorien, my stolen past and the hard cold truth.

She won't be there, waiting for me.

She is dead.

I saw her body;

She won't be there.

I buried her.