Enjoy your taste buds

There were so many other things. There were bad things. But good things too. When I look back, and look at the pictures that I took, that were taken pretty much on the last day, I just think mostly of the good things.

I never realised it. But I did miss some portuguese food. When I lived there I always complained about the food. Mostly at restaurants, because they didn't put enough spices on their food, and it tasted like goddamn baby food. HA-HA. Jokes on that! Because, when I got there, and had the chance to eat, where was the first place I went to? A restaurant. Not a fast food place, or a supermarket. A restaurant. Hold up! That sounds kind of hypocrite doesn't it? Yeah, I know. But... just hear me out. Once I got to that restaurant I ordered a what they call "Bitoque" That's mostly rice, french fries and a rare-medium beef with and egg on top of it. And it was delicious and I missed the taste of it so fucking much! And yes! Say what you will, but I did that face. That face when you taste a food so good your hole face scrunches up in wholly mouth-gasm! I LOVE FOOD. And also, it came with a bread, homemade, that I didn't like it that much when I lived there, because it had a hard crust, but surprise, surprise! I missed it too.

 
    Yeah... I am a sucker for food. And then the days passed, and I ate, at Mc D's, then ate a soup, that I also missed so much (and guess what, I wasn't a big fan of soup when I lived there), and more of that bread AND sweet rice for dessert (best sweet rice EVAAAAH)! And finally, when me and my aunt hit the supermarket nearby, I got to buy "pastéis de nata". That is basically a pastry made of that same bread-type things they make croissants of, that thin thingy and with a lot of vanilla cream inside.. Yummm! Ate a whole bunch of that, but that I already loved before. Almost cried!

Underground

I know, I know.

I kinda, sort of, didn't uphold my deal to share my Portugal trip experience. And that was like, over six months ago. Boy, doesn't time fly by. I'm not making any promises anymore, I'm not that good at keeping them anyway. What I am doing, saying is, somehow, sometime, I will definitely post something.

For now, let me back up to Portugal. To the past that visited the other past.

It was all what I was afraid of. I stayed for a few days in Lisbon, before heading to the town I lived when I was there - Caldas. And it all struck me as new, and familiar all at the same time. It all came to me. Yes, this was a place I knew, a place where I'd been before. The smells were all the same, so familiar. And there were new scents too. The ones that didn't matter to me before but that made such difference.

Backing up to the past: I recalled, that I actually lived in Lisbon, for about three months. At the time I just sat around and did nothing. I didn't go to school, didn't have any friends. It all resumed in watching portuguese television and going out to shopping malls with my mom and brothers. Or ocasionally, going around Lisbon to do our green card. But I should say, a lot of times my mom wasn't there, she had to work. So it was up to me, even if my grandma was there, to solve a couple of things. Like take my youngest brother to the doctor, when he began to have this weird rashes all over his body that looked like white spots, and we later discovered that it was an allergic reaction spread to his skin because of his asthma. The respiratory symptoms were replaced by those. And I would have to go around when I decidedly wanted to go out. But always with my grandma or brothers tagging along. And from that, I got to know Lisbon. Not all of it of course, there's so much further away from your house and places you normally go, that a teenage 13 year old girl and her younger brothers could go by themselves. But anyway, I got to learn how to ride the subway.
And man, when you go underground it's like this magic place that can drop you off anywhere and you don't even see the time go by. Or even more to that, you don't see the roads it takes, or the houses and buildings that it passes by. I mean, there's this beauty I find on skipping a few things. Not because it's easier, it's more peaceful, quiet, and if you know your way around that little tube, you never get lost. Not ever.
So I did enjoy very much riding the subway and going to the places I knew. And to new places I had never been to. It felt good, that feeling. It was all familiar yet all new. There was so many dejà-vù that it let me dizzy. In a good way though...

Scratch that.

Okey, dokey.

Sorry about that sad entry. Just had to get it out. BUT continuing, this is going to be an on and off post about my trip to Portugal. On which I'll be fumbling through my past. The one I burried almost three years ago.

ANYWAYS.

I am currently at the airpot, still in Brazil, but yet I am so excited for this shit. Okay I lived there for 4 years and everything, but this time, I decied to enjoy more, take more pictures, see more places, describe more things to my friends... Because when I lived there I just LIVED there, at my house, nowhere else. I can describe to you really well my house, but the places I'd been? The little things I say I always appretiate, I don't remember it much. This time though, I'll grab around more memories, OR at least I hope to.


Here's one memory I already gathered :D

First time on starbucks. Caramel Machiato

Know I'm not a girl anymore, I'm a young woman, a college student. And I'm living my life, alone or with company. Goodbye. See you next time.

Adventures of a wisful thinker on PT

Oh man, I feel so weird right now. Kind of fuzzy. I mean up until this point, right before getting on the bus, it all seemed like a dream. That I was always about to wake up from. But then me and my aunt got separeted, and reality hit me hard. Can't believe I'm saying it but it did hit me like a... ok, like "a wrecking ball".

Up until now, I have just put those thoughts on the bottom of my heart, or the back of my head. I guess I should say head because they've always been there sacthering and scaveging around my heart.

 I was just too soundly asleep to let any of them seep in or even show.

It's weird you know? Expecting something for about ever since I left, and then finally when I get it, it is all wrong.

I was expecting to go back home and everything was just the way it was supposed to be. But then, my mom says goodbye, I think I'll see her again and now... NO MORE. Nothing. There's nothing there waiting for me, just a bunch of broken down memorien, my stolen past and the hard cold truth.

She won't be there, waiting for me.

She is dead.

I saw her body;

She won't be there.

I buried her.