Being an adult

"Don't lose who you are. In the blurr of the stars."

Guess what? I am back.

7 years later and I am back.

And I am back because it is all coming back. That person full of dreams. That person that used to write about everything and anything. Even if sometimes poorly. I think now my head is in the right place. To think and to create. To BE creative again.

Now I have an opinion of my own about things. I have my likes and dislikes. And even though I don't know what I want in life (because I am confused about things and adulthood like any 25 year old), I think I'll be fine.


In all this time I have lived in a bubble. Which has been burst in the last six months.  In 2013 I started college, because I had to. Pressure from within myself to do what was right for the family as a whole, pressure from whithout, because I HAD to decide what I wanted to to. I guess it all led to where I am now. But still, all those years - 7 years! - I was so insecure.
I didn't know who I was. I just followed this guideline. Study hard, pass your courses, graduate and then... AND THEN... then I came back to that starting point. Where I didn't know where I would go and what the hell I was doing. What I did back then totally represents my moment. Before graduation I walked down a hallway, a barren hallway. With flickering fluorescent lights, you could hear the sound of distant voices that were lost in the emptiness. I travelled that hallway up and down three or four times. Not knowing what I wanted or where I was going. Until I saw a familiar name on a door and knocked on it and sealed my fate for the next 2 years.
My master's degree was an experience both horrible and thrilling. It pushed me to my limits. Pushed me to my breaking point. It made me go further then I had ever gone before. I traveled by myself, talked with new people and learned how to face people I was once afraid of facing. It got me in such a bad place (that I already was, I just wasn't able to recognize it) that it led me to therapy.

So you see... We won't always know what we want. Where we'll go. And just like this post, where I'm going with this. But... whatever we choose (because there will always be a choice - even if we choose poorly), that we'll lead us somewhere. And that allows us to find out what we really want.



Keep in mind to always be kind to yourself. At the end you'll always have yourself to live with and your choices. So don't put too much on you. You'll be fine.